Routines That Build Calm Into Daily Life (Kids Edition):
- Guest
- 2 hours ago
- 8 min read
Before you begin
Before reading the rest of this blogpost, just pause...
Take a minute to recollect the day you brought your newborn home for the very first time.
I remember ours vividly. My husband and I placed our baby gently on the couch and then… we just stood there…Completely unsure of what to do next! Imagine what it’s like being a newborn. No language. Limited vision. Arriving into a new home not knowing “what’s next”.
At times of a big change, we often think, “one day at a time,” is the key. What if I say the real power lies in setting-up a routine?
Routines are simply a regularly followed sequence of events. They play an important role to avoid, or reduce, stress (stressed parents = stressed kids), naturally creating a calmer home environment. New routines come very handy when there are minor or major life changes. This could be a newborn arriving at home, a toddler starting kindergarten, or even a child beginning a new extracurricular activity.
Starting the day with a routine is the foundation to a calm morning or even the rest of the day. This daily rhythm helps to ensure your child’s expectations are met - even as a baby!
Morning routines
Let’s look at routines, age by age:
Baby stage (0-2 years old)
When babies cry, it’s often their only way of communicating. Inconsolable crying can quickly turn into a stressful cycle, one that most parents are all too familiar with. This is where simple, predictable daily routines can quietly make a difference.Simple routines to consider:
Creating predictability early
Morning cuddles, followed by milk, a few minutes of rest, and then a short shower with a diaper change. A basic routine followed daily sets predictability for the baby and brings comfort to parents as well.
Integrating baby into family rhythm (6+ months)
Breakfast with the family, followed by playtime and then naptime, can help babies feel included and secure.
Allowing flexible play
Playtime doesn’t have to look the same every day, indoor toys or a park visit both count, as long as it’s considered fun and engaging for the baby.
By following routines regularly, babies begin to anticipate what comes next. When routines are inconsistent, babies may resist simple activities, especially if expectations shift from day to day.
Toddler stage (3-5 years old)
Toddlers are basically small sized teenagers. Now they can run (read: escape from you) and talk (read: talk back with sassy replies). While they are fun to have, they can sometimes get on your nerves. They can be playful but frequent irregular events can cause them to throw tantrums. This is where routines quietly step in, not to control behaviour, but to bring a sense of predictability that toddlers thrive on.
Start the day with a predictable morning flow
Once preschool or kindergarten begins, simple sequences like waking up, brushing teeth, a quick shower, getting dressed, breakfast, and the car ride to school help toddlers transition from home mode to school mode with less resistance.
Expect resistance in the early days and don’t personalise it
When my son first started preschool, he cried from the moment I woke him up until I dropped him off. This wasn’t defiance; it was discomfort with a new and unfamiliar sequence of events.
Consistency turns protest into expectation
By repeating the same routine daily, his crying and resistance slowly reduced. Over time, the routine became familiar, and familiarity made the mornings feel safer and more manageable for him.
Kids (6–9 years old)
Young kids at this age are very independent, and getting them involved in developing routines encourages ownership into the tasks and set routine. Parents can facilitate the process by ensuring that the routine is followed, albeit in the kids’ way at times. To ease parents’ stress (subsequently stress on the child), if sometimes certain tasks in the routine take longer than if performed by the parent, buffer extra time.
As children grow more independent, routines don’t just shape their day, they also help them move between activities with less resistance. This is where transition routines become especially important.
What are transition routines?
Transition routines are structured activities that help children switch from one activity or environment to another in a smooth and less stressful manner.
When do transition routines matter most?
They are especially helpful during moments that commonly trigger resistance, such as moving from playtime to homework or screen time to bedtime.
Examples of simple transition routines:
A short clean-up song before ending playtime, or a fixed sequence like changing into pyjamas, brushing teeth, and reading one book before bedtime.
How do they reduce stress over time?
By repeating the same transition steps, children begin to anticipate what comes next. With consistency, these routines create familiarity, making everyday shifts feel calmer and more manageable for both the child and the parent.
Evening/Wind down routines
End of the day routines are crucial to ensure a smooth transition to sleep for a calm and restful evening. To start off, limit or eliminate screen-time at least an hour before bedtime – with this, you’ve won half the battle!
Baby Stage (0–2 years old)
This stage is the tiring time for the parents as most babies need assistance to fall asleep.
Some nights (or most) consist of seemingly inconsolable cries, or an overactive behaviour just to fall asleep. Sleep training and sleeping preferences aside, night time routines can help ease the transition by signalling to the baby that it’s bedtime soon.
Preparing the body for sleep
This can start with evening bath time followed by baby massages.
Creating predictable cues
Read a low stimulating story book, then dim the lights for some lullaby and cuddles before heading to bed. While it may not be a perfect routine, it does help to calm the baby down and help the baby slowly understand that the next step is to get to bed and fall asleep.
Toddler Stage (3–5 years old)
Building on a similar routine from the baby stage, night time routines for toddlers can incorporate active play to help them release energy while still preparing for sleep.
Releasing physical energy safely & providing sensory input
Rough housing, done safely, allows toddlers to expend excess energy that might otherwise make it hard to settle down. Activities like jumping into piles of pillows, being held in a blanket like a hammock and swung gently, throwing soft toys into a corner, or a playful tickle attack give toddlers the sensory stimulation they need while still keeping bedtime fun. These interactive moments are also a prime time for bonding, especially when parents have been away during the day.
Transitioning to calm
Most importantly, end rough housing with a low-stimulating activity. This signals to the child that play is done and bedtime is approaching, helping them shift from high energy to calm before sleep.
Kids Stage (6–9 years old)
At this stage, kids perform some routines independently, such as showering, brushing teeth, and getting dressed for bed.
Promoting emotional expression
Reflection time with parents allows kids to talk about their day and express themselves. This lightly interactive session helps calm children and creates a safe space where they feel heard.
Incorporating meaningful rituals
Families who are religious can include prayer or other quiet rituals before bedtime. These activities provide structure, comfort, and a sense of closure to the day.
Reset routines
Sometimes certain events or actions may cause a child to be in emotional turmoil. While as parents we may not understand why our child can get upset over simple matters, we can instead help to support our children’s emotional regulation with reset routines.
To make this practical, here’s how you can support your child at each stage:
Baby Stage (0–2 years old)
Supporting gradual changes
Young babies, especially in their first year, will have more frequent changes in routines. Throughout the year from newborn, they would slowly drop naps, drop feeds, (if you’re lucky) sleep through the night. Sudden changes can cause confusion to them and sometimes anxiety leading to an erratic state of being.
Using incremental adjustments
Parents can support by making incremental changes daily before locking in the routine for a period. For example, parents can reduce the baby’s milk feed volume by 20ml every day for the week till a complete drop of feed. Or moving nap times a little later each day by 15min before a complete drop in one nap schedule.
Toddler stage (3-5 years old)
The strangest things can upset toddlers - from using the “wrong” bowl for lunch or leaves falling from a tree - causing them to throw tantrums. In any case, they need their parents' guidance to help them calm down and reset their emotions. Reasoning with toddlers is impossible when they are emotionally charged.
Providing physical comfort
You may just need to give your child a hug to calm their little bodies.
Guided emotional regulation
Do some intentional breathing together, and when they are ready, speak to your child calmly.
Allowing space to reset
At times, parents can simply give their toddler some time to release their emotions until they are ready to be approached.
Kids (6-9 years old)
Similar tips like the toddler stage can be applied here. Other ideas to help reset their mood is to spend some time in the park together, do some craft if the child enjoys that or perhaps even start a gratitude jar by writing down something to give thanks for the day and slip it in the jar - and when the bad day hits, take a note or two out to reflect on the grateful times.
Allowing space for emotional processing
Give kids some space until they are ready to talk. Respecting this time helps them regulate emotions independently.
Intentional listening
When they share, listen carefully and intentionally. Being heard validates their feelings and helps them calm down.
Mood-reset activities
Similar to toddlers, parents can help reset their mood with activities like spending time in the park together, doing crafts they enjoy, or starting a gratitude jar. Writing down something to give thanks for each day, and revisiting these notes during tough moments, can help kids reflect on positive experiences and regain balance.
Flexibility, consistency, and building what works
Things may be a little challenging at first, but finding a balance and persevering is key to establishing a routine. Sometimes, certain activities can remain tricky for years. In my toddler’s case, it’s his strong dislike for brushing his teeth! Don’t give in, as giving up breaks the routine. They’ll resist more next time if they know they got away with it before.
At the end of the day, routines are not rigidly tied to the clock. While you may plan for the kids to get up at 7.00am, waking up at 7.15am does not ruin the entire routine. Allow yourself and your child some flexibility. The key is to maintain a rhythm rather than exact timings. Unavoidable changes will happen, and clear communication helps prepare children for these moments. As you return to the routine, stay calm even if your child is not “behaving,” as added stress from the parent can further upset the child.
A stable routine takes time to build. Start small with one routine at a time and continue to adjust until it works for you, your child, and your family. What works for one family may not work for another.
The journey may feel bumpy at first, but keep trying and be kind to yourself, because routines bring calm and security to everyone and in that calm, children learn to feel safe within them.
A gentle invitation from IBU 💛
At IBU, we believe routines are not about control. They’re about connection, predictability, and emotional safety. If you’re navigating routines, transitions, or resets and want guidance rooted in real parenting experiences, explore our resources, programs, and community.
✨ Start here: Browse our blogs, join our conversations, and discover practical tips to build a confident, loving and connected family.
About the author:
Chua Pei Wen is a mom of two boys- a toddler and a soon-to-be toddler. When there's no havoc and background screaming, she enjoys crocheting while indulging in reality shows. Occasionally, she attempts to experiment with new dishes, subjected to approval (or rejection) of her boys!
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