Did we just say an easy postpartum? Most of us may have experienced a turbulent postpartum period, and will concur it to be a near impossible situation (thank your lucky stars if this does not resonate with you!)
Ways on how the daddies can make the postpartum period easier might be a more apt goal for most of us. Here are simple tips on what our fathers can do to lighten the load for the momma who's just popped.
For Your Partner
Tip #1 - Let her vent
Crazy hormones, breastfeeding challenges, sleep deprivation, physical exhaustion..the list goes on. Most new moms experience post partum blues after childbirth, and it's no wonder why! Lend a listening ear, don't brush off her concerns, and be aware if there are signs of postpartum depression rearing its ugly head.
Tip #2 - Genuinely tell her how proud of her you are
It's no secret that our insecurity and self confidence takes a hit after our bodies have worked so hard to grow (and deliver) another little being. Of course, a healthy self confidence ultimately can only come from within an individual. But feeling loved, appreciated and accepted sure has significant benefits to our overall well being! Show your partner you are proud of her. You could also try to do so in her personal love language.
Tip #3 - Give her the (much underrated) toilet time
An uninterrupted shower and being able to answer nature's calls all without rushing can be bliss for a postpartum mom. Who knew basic self care could feel like such a luxury? So go ahead, take the bubs and give her some time for a looong hot shower (and maybe even a tub soak while you are at it!)
With the baby
Don't assume fussing equals hunger
The baby fusses and the immediate reaction is to send the baby straight to the boob (again). With comfort sucking, sore nipples, and being on call 24/7, we would appreciate it if other options could be exhausted (or at least attempted) before we are summoned for feeding. Do try other ways to soothe your newborn and try not to assume every cry is a hunger call!
Take responsibility over baby's other needs
Our little bundles of joys need a lot of attention. The smaller they are, the busier they seem to keep everyone! Showers, dirty nappies, burping... all to be done with lots of tender loving care. Be involved on this beautiful journey from the very beginning (please do get involved in caretaking and not end up purely being a playmate!)
Parenting is a team effort. Your partner has gone through a lot over the last 9 months- this is the perfect time to step up and be that superhero husband and daddy you know you can be!
Around the house
Take over household responsibilities
For the husbands who are playing the (stereotypically) supportive role with regards to responsibilities around the house - find a way to lighten the load. You could hire a part time cleaner or confinement lady, and/or take on a more active role yourself. Household chores are draining, and new moms need the time to rest and recover as much as (realistically) possible.
Make sure visitors don't overstay
We truly appreciate all the well wishes and offers of help. The postpartum period is definitely a time when mommies need the extra love and support. But when oblivious family and friends start outstaying their welcome - ignoring cues (or outright statements) that mom is tired, needs to pump, or that baby is tired, please help us out by politely ending the visit (actually at that point, we probably won't mind any way it is done, as long as the message is sent across ASAP!)
Finally, as much as you would like to support your partner through the postpartum period (hey, you're reading this blog post right?), do remember to also look after your own well being post delivery. Both of you are on this parenting journey together as teammates.
Here’s to a lifetime of support for each other (and the kids) as you embark on this amazing roller coaster adventure together!