Two Kids, Two Worlds… One Holiday Season

Parenting a teen and a 5-year-old at times feels like living in two different worlds. One is talking about friends, school pressure, and growing independence… the other is talking about unicorns, snacks, and the whys and whats. It’s a funny mix, one is discovering who they are, the other is discovering how the world works and somehow this is our everyday life.

Whenever people hear the age gap, the first question is always, “7.5 years apart? What’s that like?”

Raising kids without labels

Age gaps do matter at certain stages. When siblings are close in age, they go through milestones and mischief together. With a wider age gap, the layers are different. The older one feels excited in the initial phase and somewhere in between wants to be involved, feels grown-up at first, and then slowly realises, “Okay… this tiny human is actually staying and also taking my space.” On the other hand, the younger one copies everything - every move, every word, even the eye-rolls I wish she hadn’t learned so early.

We take their differences as just part of raising two tiny humans, no labels such as “sibling rivalry,” just kids going through completely different phases of childhood under one roof. 

And yes, an honest confession: our parenting has also changed between baby 1 and baby 2, but our core values are still the same.

Redefining sibling bonds

When we were kids, we grew up with certain sibling expectations:

• the older one must be the role model

• the younger one must listen

• and because they’re “blood,” they must stay close

Some of these made sense for that time. But I’m (we’re) learning not to force that script now. I want their bond to grow in a way that is real for them. At the same time, I want them to understand that differences are normal, and that kindness, boundaries, and acceptance start at home.The magic, the meltdowns, and everything in between

And then… the holidays come. 

Balancing holiday magic for kids, big and little

Here’s how I keep both kids happy/engaged/harmonious during the holidays…

• Find the balance: This is the time when wide age-gap parenting becomes a full workout. One wants Santa stories and magic; the other is about one sentence away from breaking the whole spell. I try to keep the excitement alive for my 5-year-old without giving my teen “the look,” because honestly, that look never works!!

• Decorating together: Who doesn’t love a bit of MAGIC??? We put up Christmas decorations together, one wanting everything pink and sparkly, the other wanting symmetry and “her-style.” Both kids love it, just in their own ways… one shows her excitement through every cue possible, and the older one has her very non-verbal ones. Last year, without making it a big thing, my older one helped her sister write the Santa letter, kept cookies and milk, and opened presents with almost the same excitement. I’m secretly hoping for a repeat this year.

• Enjoying the Simple Things: We do holiday activities, ones everyone enjoys together. A trek… generally beginning with full huffs and puffs (from both kids, and…from me), but somewhere along the way it turns into exploring, collecting leaves and stones, and making up stories. Even when we go out for a meal or just for their favourite drink, they’ll still talk, argue, laugh, sulk, and somehow end up okay(hopefully well entertained) by the end of it.

• Screen time, but limited: And yes, we do give them screen time and movies, they can both watch together. They get their gadgets during breaks, but we limit it proactively. Our focus is on spending time together, and even if they don’t want to play together, go outside, exercise, or just get bored, after the loud protests, whining, and one or two door bangs… they somehow find things to do.

• Space to connect:They make their own games, dance, role-play, create secret languages, build forts, play tag and ball games, swim, play “teacher,” and even try hairstyles on each other. On travel days, we somehow survive with one tiny kit: favourite toys, a book, a writing board, and end up playing Eye Spy, phonics, atlas quizzes, or “Fly or Not Fly.” The key is to give them a space to connect, and explore together, instead of over-planning. 

• Let them find their rhythm: The holidays always end up pushing us to reset a few family rules. They fight and argue and suddenly love to team up against the parents. They learn from each other and learn small life skills. But they also remind me that even with the age gap, these two find their own space and somehow match their likes.

Peaceful ending… that quiet moment when both kids are finally asleep, until they wake up and we reset again! 

The big takeaway

Over time, I’ve learnt that a big age gap doesn’t define a sibling relationship, the little everyday moments do. The magic, the meltdowns, the eye-rolls, the cuddles… all of it becomes the story they’ll carry. Through everyday moments, they create their own connection.

Little reminders for us parents

We parents need to remember to be kind to ourselves. We’re doing our best, and we’re learning every single day - from the wins and from the mistakes.

• Accept the differences. They’re just two tiny humans in completely different phases.

• It’s the small moments that matter. Screens happen, boredom happens… and magic happens too.

• Both the meltdowns and the magic build their bond. You’re doing enough. And when we own our mistakes and adjust, our kids learn that too.

If you’re navigating similar stages…

If this season of parenting feels familiar, you’re not alone!

I lead IBU Parenting’s Triple T Support Group — Tinies, Toddlers & Tweens/Teens, a space where parents talk openly about navigating different stages of childhood under one roof. It’s a safe, real space for honest conversations, shared experiences, and practical support.

If you’d like to join these discussions or stay in the loop on future events, you’re welcome to join the Triple T WhatsApp group.

Ultimately it’s not the perfect days, but shared ones that linger.

-Dr. Gauri Sharma

About the author:

Gauri is a mum of two girls (13 and 5) who is learning, unlearning, and growing every day through parenting. She works in the social development space, supporting children, families, and communities. Outside work, she loves dancing, travelling, reading, exploring new cuisines, and watching a good series or two. 

She often finds herself connecting her professional world with the reality of raising two very different little humans.