IBU answers 10 questions women need urgent answers to this women’s day!

Social media has a yearly ritual. On March 8th, women are elevated, celebrated, hashtagged.

#24 hours of fame

Meanwhile… women are still doing what they’ve always done-holding families, managing emotions, preventing chaos, remembering everything no one else remembers.

The habit of stepping in.

• Fixing fast.

• Holding more.

• Letting go of nothing.

  
  

So no, IBU isn’t doing the usual Women’s Day appreciation post or about how splendid they are. That’s a no brainer!

Instead, here are 10 questions women told us they actually need answered. No lectures. No "you're amazing" wrapping paper. Just honest questions and real talk.

1. What am I remembering today that no one else will?

The school form. The expired milk. Your mother-in-law's birthday. That your partner has an early meeting tomorrow.

Researchers call this "cognitive labor." The invisible work of tracking everything. Unlike doing dishes, it never ends because it happens inside your head.

Try this: Write down what you're tracking for one week. Just see it. What's visible can eventually be shared.

2. When did I last walk into a room and just... be there?

Not scanning for what needs doing. Not noticing who's uncomfortable. Not mentally organizing.

Just... present.

If you can't remember, you're not alone. Most women develop "anticipation reflex", scanning constantly. It's a superpower. It's also exhausting when it never switches off.

Try this: Next time you enter a room, pause three breaths before you act. Try to numb your thoughts. See what rises as urgent. Then decide what to worry about next! 

3. Who could handle more IF I stopped handling it for them?

Here's an uncomfortable truth: sometimes the load stays with us because we're really good at carrying it. Not because others couldn't step up.

Try this: Hand over a whole task, thinking included. If someone takes over laundry, they also track detergent and notice when sheets need washing. The whole thing. It might get done differently. That's the point.

4. What would happen if I answered, "how are you?" honestly?

"Fine." "Busy." "Tired but okay." Sociologists call this "the fine reflex", a social smoothing mechanism that prioritizes others comfort over your own truth. Women are particularly trained in it because emotional management has historically been our job.

Try this once with someone safe: "Honestly? A bit overwhelmed." Or "Ask me tomorrow." Notice how it lands. Sometimes the truth creates space.

5. Where am I performing "fine" when I'm not?

Performance isn't fake, it's how many of us cope. Psychologists call this "masking", presenting a composed exterior while internally struggling. We learned early that being "too much" (too tired, too angry, too sad) costs us something.

Try this: Pick one place this week where you let the mask slip. Just a little. See who meets you there.

6. What am I carrying that was never mine to hold?

Some responsibilities landed on your plate intentionally. Others got handed over so gradually you forgot they weren't yours to begin with. This is called "inherited obligation", taking on tasks not because they're yours, but because they've always been done by someone like you.

Ask yourself: If I set this down today, who would naturally pick it up? If the answer is "no one," that tells you some context! 

7. When did being exhausted become my normal?

For many women, fatigue isn't a red flag anymore. It's just midday.

Burnout as baseline isn't a personal failure. The World Health Organization now classifies burnout as an "occupational phenomenon", chronic workplace stress that hasn't been successfully managed. For women, that "workplace" is often also home.

It's what happens when recovery isn't built in.

Try this: Schedule 20 minutes this week that are just yours. Not for doing, for being. Put it in the calendar like any other appointment.

8. Who holds space for me without me managing their feelings first?

Women are often emotional hubs. We hold space for everyone. But attachment theory suggests that "secure bases" work both ways, everyone needs someone who can hold them without requiring emotional labor in return.

Try this: Notice who in your life lets you show up exactly as you are without you having to make it comfortable for them.

9. What would I do today if "being strong" wasn't the goal?

"Strong" is complicated. It's praise, yes, but also a cage. If you're strong, you don't get to break. It is called "the superwoman complex", the internalized pressure to handle everything flawlessly without asking for help. If you're strong, you don't get to break. You don't get to say "too much."

Try this: What if strength meant knowing what to set down? What to let be imperfect?

10. What am I afraid would fall apart if I stopped holding it together?

This is the question underneath all the others. Catastrophizing the fear that if we loosen our grip, everything collapses keeps many women locked in patterns that exhaust them.

You don't have to stop holding everything at once. But maybe, just for today, set one small thing down. And notice if life feels lighter.

Why Micromanagement Is Killing Us?

Here's what the research says:

• A 2019 study in the Journal of Applied Psychology found that micromanagement is a leading cause of burnout, not just for the person being managed, but for the micromanager themselves. The constant checking and correcting creates a stress loop that never closes.

• Women spend an average of 4.5 hours per day on household management tasks, the invisible work of planning, organizing, and delegating. That's over 1,600 hours a year of cognitive labor that could be shared.

• Research from the University of California shows that perfectionism has risen significantly among women over the past 30 years, directly linked to increased rates of anxiety, depression, and burnout.

A Gentle Pledge:

You don't need to change everything today. Just small shifts.

At home:

· Let someone else do it, imperfectly

· Receive help without managing it

· Ask for what you need, out loud

· Let one thing go on purpose

At work:

· Pause before saying yes

· Delegate the whole task, thinking included

· Let others develop their own noticing muscles

None of this is dramatic. It's just thousands of small choices. Each one a tiny breath of space.

The Power of I:

I will notice what I'm holding. I will let one thing go. I will ask for help without apologizing. I will sit in a room without scanning it first. I will let someone else do it imperfectly. I will answer one question honestly. I will set down what was never mine to carry.

Not because it fixes everything. Because it's mine to try.

And that's where change actually starts. Not in hashtags. Not in speeches. Just in one woman, somewhere, deciding that today looks a little different.

Happy Women's Day!

Okay, I'll Stop Preaching now:

You've been compelled to "set things down" for last 800 words, but if you're thinking "cool, but how exactly?", that's where IBU comes in. It gives you a holistic support- for you, and your entire family!

We'll just show you what happens when you don't carry it alone!

About the author:

Tanya Gambhir is a girl mum to a spirited nine-year-old and a toddler tornado. She's a storyteller, and a free spirit who lives for her ideas. She’s tackled design, digital marketing campaigns, and multiple creative projects, with a side note of great books, catchy music and movies to binge on. Passionate about sustainability, she runs annual turtle-saving campaigns with her daughter and somehow keeps her coffee cup full and piping hot!